How To "I Do": D & S style

As what we normally hear, marriage is the union of two persons, formed into one unit -- a day where couples exchange their vows and "I do's" in front of special people in their life. It could be as beautiful and as dramatic as one may opt. After all, it's THE day.

What's even better is that you can do it at a fraction of the cost of a Church wedding!

In the Philippines, one would think that a civil wedding it as easy as just exchanging vows and the whole shebang. There are a lot of things to consider when planning -- the time, budget, number of heads, and a other minor details that you'd like to include.

You could just sit and wonder, "where do I start?"

Careful planning and organization is the key. Never miss or skip steps in the process. You may think for a second that skipping a part of the process shortens it, when in fact it could be an essential element that could prolong your agony if missed.

Being hands-on with this "project", I was able to learn a lot about how civil weddings work, particularly here in Mandaluyong. I will just be enumerating steps of what we did before.

1. We got an application from for the marriage license from the Office of the Civil Registrar (OCR, new building, 2nd floor, left side). The staff are very friendly and accommodating to any questions you may have along the way! Go Mandaluyong! For the requirements and other details, click here.

• You may also inquire through Mandaluyong City's trunk line, 532-5001 local 234. The line could be busy most of the time, so patience here my friends. 

2. Prepared PhP170 for the notarial services, registration and filing fees.

3. While waiting for the marriage license, we attended the pre-marriage seminar. Details are here.

4. After getting the marriage license, we proceed to the Office of the Court of Clerk (OCC). This can be found at the Mandaluyong City Hall of Justice, ground floor. Prepared PhP330 for processing.

5. Attended the "raffle" to determine which judge will officiate the wedding. In our case, we had Hon. Carlos A. Valenzuela from branch 213.

Hon. Carlos A. Valenzuela: A very nice and good-natured person

6. After the raffle, we proceeded to branch 213 to get "your honor's" schedule. We booked October 26, since my family had to fly to New Zealand on the 27th. The only available time was 10:30 am. So we took it!

After all the steps, this was the only time when we started to book the hotel reception, the photographer, and the other stuff. In other words, the rest would be garnishes of the main course, or the icing of the cake!

Stuff you STILL need to know about civil weddings:

1. If you have a wedding date in mind, do not fully commit to it. You will have to book the date with the judge's secretary before making any reservations to your suppliers.

2. Couples should always be flexible with the schedule, instead of running into a hectic "hearing" date where you have to wait for your turn before you get inside. What is this, waiting for a Jollibee Kiddie party to finish before you can start yours? Or maybe unless you would prefer a distraught, haggard judge officiating the rites. Yes, on YOUR day!
 
3. Civil weddings are now strictly held in the judge's "sala" (court), so forget about out-of-town weddings, unless you are holding it in a provincial court.
 
4. The Mandaluyong City Mayor can officiate a wedding every Tuesday. 

5. There are NO weddings held on a weekend, just only during business hours. 

6. It takes about 7-10 business days before claiming the marriage license. You have to think of other things to do, like attending the pre-wed seminar than to sit around waiting for it. More information here. 

7. "Raffling" of judges are only held every Thursday at 1PM.
 
8. There is NO fee after the wedding although it is customary for us Filipinos to give a small token of gratitude for the judge and his staff, for accommodating such a special event. Besides, even if you invite them to your reception, most would not make it because of the office hours. In our case, we provided them with food and simple gifts. 

9. Getting the NSO copy of the marriage certificate may take long, depending on your municipality. In my case, I was able to get it in less than 3 months after my wedding date. Other municipalities may take longer.

What were the steps that you took on your wedding day? Was it the same as what we did here in Mandaluyong?

Union of D&S (behind the scenes) -- 10.26.09

Planning a wedding is always very stressful for most brides (and the groom), especially those deemed as "bridezillas". I don't blame them because you can have your wedding once, so why not make it as nearly perfect as it should? It makes a whole lotta sense since we are formed in a crazy society where people are all boxed up (abu..hehe) as to what a perfect wedding should be like.

However, I didn't have to sweat a bit in orchestrating this wedding. I believe keeping it simple is the key. After all, what's important is the exact, actual exchange of vows. The rest are simply garnishes of a main dish.

D and I had to opt for a civil wedding due to time (and proximity) constraints. With less time before he gets deployed at some random undisclosed location, we simply couldn't afford to really plan a church wedding. The possibility of having canceled reservations from suppliers and contacts is extremely high, (and so would stress levels be!) because of the nature of his work. Maybe at a later time, perhaps we could do this church ceremony. A civil ceremony would have to do for now.

We had an agreement that I will be the one taking care of everything (filing, compiling, logistics) while he's in charge of the paperwork and finances.

After taking care of the legalities and finalizing the date, I had nothing left to do but to take care of the reception. It was already September when the date was finalized as civil wedding dates could never be arranged unless you know a judge who may be available to solemnize the rites.

D and I had to finally talk about the guest list. We have come to an agreement to strictly invite immediate family members only -- ensure that we still keep this as simple as it should. We also believe that it is not necessary to impress relatives, unlike when we invite friends. So less stress! With little time, we had to contact everyone with an RSVP. I even designed an evite for Multiply and Facebook relatives.

Save the Date!

I was in touch with different hotels within Mandaluyong to get the best rates for 40 heads. I didn't do ocular inspections as I was really not that particular with the how function rooms would look like. Bottom line, all function rooms are plain and boring. I was more focused on getting the best rate. Then I saw this promo from Legend Villas. When I showed D the packages available, he was sold to the idea of having the reception held there! Not only the place was accessible to both families, but everyone could enjoy a variety of dishes from the set buffet package.

We decided to go to the Legend Villas at the Lola Maria Restaurant when he came here last September to check out the food. He was instantly into it! I was really happy that we both liked it there...the ambiance, the service, the food! -- the many reasons why I was not that worked up about the wedding.

After placing the reservations, now what?

Since I had a lot of time on my hands, I was able to put in some add ons.

I will just blog about the festivities some other time. 

Did you get to have a stress-free, hassle-free wedding? Share now! :)

TO ALL THE COUPLES -- Married or soon-to-be married

This is a really good story I'd like to share to all couples, happy or struggling you may be. May this remind us how simple things do count. 


MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.


Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

.
A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 GOD LOVES YOU <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6

 

 

Bridal Shower -- 09.05.09

Bridal Shower -- 09.05.09

I never thought I'd be having a bridal shower.

After visiting the themesandmotifs bridal fair (previous album), Roby told me that we should "pass by a friend's place" before calling it a day. She said that it had something to do with the wedding. I was told to drive by Amber Golden Plate Restaurant at Filmore where she picked up some food to bring her "friend". It actually looked quite fishy that Roby got a LOT of food. There was pancit, barbecue, and that yummy pichi-pichi. Now I started to get hungry and asked if it's really okay to eat at her "friend's place". It should be fine she said.

Of course, nahiya naman ako and thought "Okay lang kaya yon?" not suspecting a thing at all yet, we headed off to Astoria Plaza.

Total surprise.

It was Charm who opened the door. Katie, Mye and Cha were already inside! Like OMG! While waiting for others, we showed them our loot bags from the Bridal Fair, including those wacky photobooth sessions.

The arrival of other guests soon got the party starting as to wonderful food from Amber's were there. A party ain't a party without the flowing booze! How I missed drinking!

Bridal shower parties would not be complete without games and more surprises! We first had the relay which involves a lotion, a cucumber and a condom (see a visual?).

Next, there was this "How well do you know Dave and Shelley game" participated by Qtie, Raunche and Renchie Lou. The questions asked were insane and probably rated PG so answers and questions won't be revealed here (lol). It eventually turned into "How well do you know Dave" as the questions all had to do with him!

After Renchie had won the quizzie, we had another game where we 3 teams need to design a bridal gown using only tissue paper. Riot as my team was running out of ideas. Even if Raunche was supposedly on the queer side, he said he wasn't "blessed" with kalandian skills. So we lost (haha!).

A bridal shower wouldn't be called such if there wouldn't be a dancer! Oh, yes, dancer. There was dancing for a while, and then it ended up with a kwentuhan instead as the dancer was incredibly too young to molest (joke!). He is actually Daddy Monchie's "friend" (thanks dad! :D).

The night ended up in giving away souvenirs and gifts. Thanks to all the wonderful people who gave their best wishes before calling it a night!

In short, the bridal shower was a night that I will never truly forget not because of what happened during the event, but to the people who were present to give me a send-off before entering married life. Even if I were to get married a month later, I am really thankful and touched to feel extra special before my special day. Thanks girls! :D

Bridal Fair '09 -- 09.05.09

Posts that are way overdue (3 months ago pa to...hehehe!)

Thanks to themesandmotifs.com for the banner pics of the wedding expo :)



Even after resigning, my officemates proved to be very great pals!

Meowie, Roby, Pat and i went to this bridal fair to get as much ideas as we can, as we are all brides (and groom) to be's..

Before going to the PICC tent, we already made our registration online so that our entrance will be a smooth one once there. since we were already listed, we were given neat eco-bags to have our fill of goodies coming from the suppliers at the event.





i didn't know that cameras weren't allowed at the event so there were just a few shots made. sorry po...





Instead, we took advantage of the different photobooths, ate a lot of samples from the choco fondue (yum!). and took some snaps of the bridal cars outside the tent.



 
I must say sa fondue, Roby was doing all the talking to a supplier while the rest of us were munching away. Naubos na ata namin ang mallows and fruits. lol

 


Truly memorable and fun.

However, ndi pa dyan nagtatapos ang araw na ito. abangan ang susunod.

full album here:
bridal fair '09 -- 09.05.09