Sunday, April 12, 2009

Interesting Facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the. ..?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. ( I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig?? In short I want to be a PIG as well! Oink oink!!!)

Saturday, April 11, 2009


Got this from Deenay:

These are my firsts. If I tag you, it means I want to know yours. Copy & paste this note onto your notes, delete my answers & fill yours in. Tag me back & anyone else whose "firsts" you want to know about.

1. Who was your FIRST prom date? Joe Gutierrez.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? Yes.

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? Does Cali Shandi count? If not, it was also a Smirnoff Mule.

4. What was your FIRST job? Technical Support Engineer.

5. What was your FIRST car? None, it's dad's car.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today? Dave

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? Dave.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Ms. Monaliza Munar

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Brisbane, Au

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? I don't have an exclusive best friend, nor do i remember having one.

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over? Don't remember.

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? Dave.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? Prolly a relative or one of mom's friends.

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Replied to Dave's text.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Considered ba ang concerts ng School fair? If so, APO HIking ata yon.

16. What was the FIRST record/tape/CD you bought? Ndi ko alam kung E-heads ba or Andrew E.

17. FIRST hospitalization? not sure...

18. FIRST foreign country you've been to? Au.

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing? Date with an Angel :)

20. When was your FIRST detention? None.

21. What did you do with your FIRST paycheck? It wasn't that big so I banked it.

22. Your FIRST social networking site? FRIENDSTER.

23. Who FIRST invited you to Facebook? I'M NOT SURE...

Which side of your brain is dominant?

The Result: You use both sides equally. (Read description.)

Right brain individual: Right brain individuals are intuitive, creative and imaginative. They are flexible and are concerned with the bigger picture rather than details. They are impulsive and spontaneous and do not like time limits. They have difficulty explaining ideas verbally and prefer illustrations to verbal instructions.

Careers: Architects, Artists, Salespeople, Psychiatrists, Musicians, Politicians, Teachers. (Interpersonal, Emotional, Musical, Spiritual, Talker.)

Left brain individuals are analytical, articulate and to the point. They like identifying details and are more logical than intuitive. Left brained people have good communication and persuasion skills.

Careers: Engineers, Systems Analysts, Technicians, Accountants, Librarians. (Administration, Conservative, Organization, Planner, Structure.)

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Divorce Letter

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good husband to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair cut and moustache shaved, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new underwear.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching your favorite show. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't.

Your BESTFRIEND and I are moving away to West Virginia together!

Have a great life!

Your EX- Husband

......The saga continues.....

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good husband is afar cry from what you've been. I watch my soap so much to try to drown out your constant questioning. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a Svenson commercial model before the implant!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BEST FRIEND, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new underwear because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my bestfriend had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your underwear was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my bestfriend was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Are you and Assumptionista, Povedan, or a Paulinian?

Result: Paulinian

You have a great goal in life. A smart person. And you are the kind of person that can understand others and would be able to help them in case of problems.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

what matters is...

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters
Who never did
Who won't anymore
And who always will...

So, don't worry about people from your past, there is a reason why they didnt make it in your future..

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